Brand & Pivot ft. Miss Diddy

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Um. [00:00:05] Speaker B: We back at it. Homegrown radio. Chuck Dizzle, DJ head man. We here with. With a day one, a friend, family member. [00:00:11] Speaker C: Live from the fab factory studio. [00:00:12] Speaker B: Yeah, live from the fat Factory studios. [00:00:14] Speaker A: Live from the fab Factory studio. [00:00:16] Speaker B: This is the first episode of 2024. [00:00:18] Speaker C: You should be. You should, man. [00:00:20] Speaker B: Yo, so I know it was long overdue, and I know you gonna talk your ish. We got lifestyle specialists and 17 other ceos that I'm sure she's going to talk about how many hats she wears, and she going to brag on how many places she's been and that we haven't been yet. [00:00:36] Speaker C: And them shades. And them shades because the shades she bought in Paris. [00:00:40] Speaker B: We got Ms. Diddy here, first and foremost. How are you, my friend? [00:00:43] Speaker A: I am great, and I'm happy to be here with y'all. Nothing means more to me than to be here with y'all. And I'm definitely talking my percentage wise. [00:00:53] Speaker B: How much of this conversation is gonna be humble and talking your ish? Like, if we can think percentage wise, how much are we going to get? Yo, I got to talk my ish, Diddy, and then I got to play it cool. [00:01:04] Speaker A: What was the percentage on cat Williams? [00:01:11] Speaker C: Let's talk about it. [00:01:12] Speaker A: I'd be having beef with head all. [00:01:14] Speaker C: She always fake beefing with me, and I don't even do anything. All I do is uplift black women. [00:01:22] Speaker B: He noticed the target word. [00:01:28] Speaker A: What do you say before? [00:01:29] Speaker B: It's just loud and wrong. [00:01:31] Speaker C: She specifically is loud and wrong, not having anything to do with the black woman movement. You know what I'm saying? I adore black women. My mom's a black woman. I employ black women. I love black women. [00:01:43] Speaker A: How much of this is he going to be humble black women already? [00:01:50] Speaker C: I'm just saying. [00:01:51] Speaker B: Ms. Diddy, man. I mean, again, obviously, if you can't tell, we've known each other for years, very long. This conversation is long, long overdue. First of all, I want to talk about how was your 2023? And as we set up for 2024, what expectations, goals, and things are you looking forward to accomplish this year? [00:02:10] Speaker A: First of all, that's a great question, but I'm going to say this. I think that 2023 was pretty challenging for a lot of people for a lot of reasons, in a lot of ways. And me being one of those hands, putting his hand up, and I think that it was one of those years that was testing us from every angle and everybody. It was one of those years that was like, no, I'm going to keep the fire on you. I'm going to keep testing it. When you even wanted some room to breathe. I know it was like that for me, definitely personally, family wise, professional wise, so much so I kind of took off the ladder of the year just so I can kind of get back right and regroup because it was so heavy. It was like so many things happening in my family and then also professional. Everything changed. I think last year, I think people were super excited kind of coming out the pandemic. And I think they went quick, super. A little too impressive on how quick they were going to go. And I think 2023 was the year that everybody kind of put the brakes hold on. Let's reevaluate. Very humbly. But the interesting thing is for 2024, I feel really motivated about this year. I'm not completely sure why and I'm not sure when it switched it exactly, but it was definitely in December and I felt like, oh, something like, lifted. And I feel like this is going to be one of our best years. We all see, and I don't talk like that. I'm not like that. I'm not pessimistic, but I'm definitely a realist. So. But I know what I know, and I know it in my soul and I know it in my spirit. And I'm going to say this, and we're going to look back at this twelve months from now, we're going to look back like, damn, there's so much that we were able to do. And I think it's a good time for all of us. Those who are tested, those who kind of stayed in the game, whatever that game looks like. That could be for anybody that could be the janitor at the high school. But I feel motivated. I think it's going to be a great year for all of us. [00:04:12] Speaker C: I want to tap into something because y'all know each other from back in the day. [00:04:18] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:18] Speaker C: Long Beach State. [00:04:19] Speaker A: Long Beach State college days. [00:04:21] Speaker B: Literally one of our first classes ever, I had. I think it was an intro to. Intro to acting. [00:04:31] Speaker C: What was Chuck like? [00:04:32] Speaker A: He's always been the same. [00:04:34] Speaker C: He wasn't like an asshole. No, he wasn't like. [00:04:37] Speaker A: I'm not even saying that because we're right here. Thank you. [00:04:39] Speaker C: What was he like, though? [00:04:40] Speaker A: I feel like he was. Did he do his work relatable? I don't think none of us really fully did our work. I don't think that the work was fully being done. I think we was like, all right, we in Long beach with the hoodie on it wasn't really like real work. [00:04:55] Speaker C: Have you ever heard the term dorm room dizzle? [00:04:58] Speaker A: All right, what was going on? I was driving back to Compton to my house. Hold on. What was going on? [00:05:04] Speaker C: Nothing at all. [00:05:05] Speaker A: See, I'm not about to let you. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Don't let him do that. I'm glad you brought that up. [00:05:15] Speaker A: Not the dorm room fizzle part, just. [00:05:18] Speaker B: The early days of Long Beach State. Because when I think of that, when I think of, I didn't know you was diddy then. [00:05:25] Speaker A: Right? [00:05:28] Speaker B: We had class together. I was wondering, did you see what we see now? Those days, what was in your mind? Did you see lifestyle specialists? I kind of want to tap into that. When you were on the campus of Long Beach State, what were the things that you were aspiring to be? [00:05:47] Speaker A: You know what's crazy? I feel like you had a good hang on, what you aspired to be. I feel like you always, if you didn't know everything, you knew your direction, kind of your trajectory and where you want to go, and that's why you're here. That was from that long ago. For me, it wasn't that clear for me. I think for me at that time, I've been on my own since I was 17. I graduated when I was 16. I went to Londale High, graduated, just went into college. Academically, I did well, so I was accepted in a lot of colleges. But I grew up in a pretty tumultuous home, like, volatile home. And so for me, I didn't want to leave the city because my mom was still at home. I didn't want to leave. And it held me back because ideally, in a perfect probably, I'm the girl that should have went to HBCU, you know what I'm saying? I'm the girl that should have pledged Alpha, should have pledged Delta, something like, I'm that girl that should have been there. And I didn't have the luxury to do that because of things that were going on in my family. And so when I was at Cal State Long Beach, I was just going with the motion, like, all right, guess you're supposed to go to college right now. Much to say. My stepfather that raised me at that time, his name was Fab Fisher, and he put me in college. And alongside which, you know, Jesse Powell. So Jesse's father, you know, Mr. Powell worked at Cal State Long beach for, like, 25, 30 years in the registration. Yeah, he put a lot of kids in college. So at the time, Jesse was, like, one of my first boyfriends. And his dad was like, you don't go to. He's a legend, God rest his soul. And so that's why I ended up going to college. So I think, also, what was dope about being from LA, and we all understand this, and now the world sees it. Shout out to all our artists from LA. That's also kicked open the door so the world could kind of see a glimpse into our being from LA. But we was just cool kids. Tommy the clown, you know what I'm saying? Shout out to those type of cultural movements that, for me, I didn't know what I was building up, but I was building up that lifestyle factor that I ended up becoming successful off of. Exactly. Just who got. [00:08:05] Speaker C: When you got out of. I mean, I don't want to gloss over your resume, but people are pretty familiar with who you are, who you've worked with. Like, you've done a lot of branding for yourself, which is dope shout to Forbes and all the extra things. But what I want to ask you about, or talk to you about specifically, is the pivot. Because a lot of people don't know when and they don't know how. [00:08:29] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:08:30] Speaker C: You know what I'm saying? Like, you work with Kanye, you work with no smoke, but you work with yay. You work with all these different people. But the pivot. And then I think, to your point, especially being a woman in a man's world, I want you to talk about the pivot, when to pivot, and how to pivot for people that are trying to start their own business. People are trying to brand themselves. People are trying to get out there. [00:09:00] Speaker A: You know what's interesting about my pivot? I think that you learn your pivot when people ask you that question. So you have to pinpoint a time in your career where you're like, oh, that's when it switched, or that's when it became this, or that's when it became. And I think that as you climb, you learn what those points are and they're vulnerable points. So it may be either when I learned, like, oh, I can't smack nobody no more. It's kind of crazy. They know me as Miss Diddy. And it's not just, you know what I'm saying, I can't handle things in that. [00:09:24] Speaker C: You was out here smacking people. [00:09:26] Speaker A: Please, you know I'm good with that. Yeah, it's gone. Because I can't stop. [00:09:32] Speaker C: I just want to know, like, I don't know, you was out here victory slapping people active. [00:09:37] Speaker A: It's known. But I say that to say the pivot for me. [00:09:43] Speaker C: Have you ever been slapped by Miss Diddy? Give us a call. [00:09:52] Speaker B: I'm sure you probably deserved it. [00:09:54] Speaker C: Whoever. [00:09:54] Speaker A: Yeah, first he apologized anyway. That's crazy. I think the pivot for me that I can pin pinpoint in my career was so being a promoter, right? I was the only girl promoter. The biggest parties, really in the country, not even just locally, right? So supper club Tuesdays, toxic Saturdays, sayers on Friday, all these cultural big on premise nightlife movements that change globally how things kind of were perceived. And everybody else in major markets did their parties, too. For me, I knew I didn't want no disrespect, but I didn't want to be the old girl in the club. Facts. And here's the thing. I always say that this is a young man's sport, meaning it's just a man's sport. A man could be 50 years old, still throwing them hottest parties and everything. And it's not perceived in the same way for women. It's tough. We have a window, and not for everybody. This is no disrespect to anybody. That's still. But for me, I couldn't do that for my career. I know that they were bigger and that I had the ability to affect bigger in the world than just in the clubs. So for me, I had the hottest freaking parties, but it was itching me. I'm like, nah, man, I got to pit something, has to do something a little different. And it was definitely all deaf comedy live. It was the comedy show. It was the moment because it translated from me being the promoter that did clubs, which I'm grateful to God that no one viewed me as a party girl like, I did well in that, right? But it was the clubs to like, okay, this is an alternative from the clubs. This is a fly comedy show. Russell Simmons is here every week. So we have that type of star power that leads into more star was really. What was really special about that whole moment is so Miata Johnson, who is the wife of John Monopoly. John Monopoly has been my mentor since yay days. He still manages yay like, whole thing. Miata called me and said, I have a dear friend named Adira Curtis. Adira was working for Russell at this time, and he said, they got a comedy show. They want to do it every week they've been doing it. No one's coming. If you don't do it, we're going to shut it down. [00:12:21] Speaker C: Oh, damn. [00:12:22] Speaker A: Right hand of God. So I'm like, let me go walk and see so let me go. Met Adair we fell in love with each other. He's still one of my dearest friends to this day. Very well respected executive. He was like, come do the walk through at chinese man theater. I'm like, the venue is weird. The parking. You got to walk up to escalate all these things. And because I care about every detail, I care about experience with any client that comes in the door, friends, whatever. I got to think about point a to z. When you park, do you valet? Do you this? What's the most convenient way, if Rihanna comes, is she going to come through the, like, what does that look like? And chinese man. There was like, I took a couple of my team members and I sat in there and it was. No one was there. We were kind of like going over thing and I was like, I felt it. So like, I know to go with my gut and I felt it and I was like, nah, we gotta do it. All right. So then I promise you, that week there was four people there. Russell had a girl there. The next week I packed it out. In years, it kept being every single week. Everybody came. Chris Brown, J. Cole, Floyd Mayweather. Like, everybody you could think of came and came through there. It was David Chappelle's first stop when he came off a really hiatus, you know what I mean? Like, Dave Chappelle don't go to no spots like that. He doesn't have to do know Kevin Hart, of course, you see Tiffany Haddish. Everybody came through there to play. Mike Epps will come and we'll be like, Mac Epps is one of my favorite comics and he's so funny to me and he will come be like, he about to go on. We have to put Mike Epps on last because he's going to keep going. He's going to keep going. He's not going to stop me. He's funny the whole know. And I have to give a big shout out to Tony Rock because Tony Rock was an incredible host. [00:14:15] Speaker C: Shout out to Tony Rock. [00:14:16] Speaker A: So funny. He doesn't get the flowers he deserves. Because just because you're a comic or you're funny doesn't mean you're a host at all. You guys know that type of thing. It's not just because you think you, doesn't mean you're a host. He kept that show going the whole time. He never missed a show. He was so committed. And from there, I say all that to give a lot of context. But from that is when I started the brand group, that's when I started my agency. That's when I started hiring staff. That's when I put a camera in there. They didn't know cameras in there. That's when the shade room was barely. The shade room was just full of, like, messy comments. I told Angie, who's the owner of Shade Room, I said, hey, I'm going to give you exclusive content. I got all the celebrities coming. [00:14:59] Speaker B: That'll be right. [00:15:00] Speaker A: We going to build up the shade room even with this as well. This is years ago, you know what I'm saying? The Jasmine brand, YBF, like, all of that, and no one had seen a nightlife space on blogs. That wasn't what was going on. It was celebrity gossip or celebrity whatever. It wasn't like, so and so was in the nightlife. So that's why I really started the way that looks on blogs and being in those spaces. So that was a pivot. And that was when I was able to get all my shit off. I was able to really get all my creativity off, all my ideas. I'm like, now I want to do this. And ain't nobody was stopping me. Shout out to them, like Russell Simmons, Steve Rifkin at the time, jerew Tillman. They were just like, let go. [00:15:46] Speaker C: Clearly now you want you having that kind of run. I think it's important to note, too, that the men, because me and my team make it a point to always empower women, right? [00:15:56] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:15:56] Speaker C: Especially women creatives. [00:15:58] Speaker A: Yes. [00:15:59] Speaker C: I want you to talk about the difficulties in being a female creative in the world of a man, because I think that a lot of women feel like that. [00:16:06] Speaker A: You know, what's tough with my position is that I'm so grateful to God that I have kind of the poise that I have and the Persona and the way I feel walking in a room. So I ain't really been played with like that. You know what I'm saying? It's kind of like. [00:16:32] Speaker C: The reality of the situation is a lot of women have that story. [00:16:35] Speaker A: And I feel, and it's crazy because I'd be putting my cape on all day long, like, I'm a person behind, because is everything cool? Did you pay them? Is it okay? Cool. Yes. Missed it. Because I was fortunate enough to have that type of fire. Right. And so I do feel bad about the women that go through that, because here's the thing. What happens in careers, like, you're coming up and you're trying to figure out, like, you don't want to piss nobody off or be the person that's difficult to work with. And sometimes you think it's a sacrificial component. Like, I got to take that because I'm trying to stay in this position, and I've always been brave. I also tell women, just be brave. Understand that sometimes a no or a hell no, I'm not doing that. It turns into something greater later. There's things I've had to turn down, and I'm like, oh, the money, all of that. Can't do it. [00:17:28] Speaker B: What did you learn that from? Because you talk about having a tumultuous, like, childhood. Was there some things that you learned growing up and you saw, like, oh. [00:17:36] Speaker A: Okay, I think for me, I got to keep it funky. It's my relationship with God, and I'm not holier than down. I'm not perfect, but I always was really concerned about my relationship with him and my integrity. I always led with integrity first, because if I did, oh, my God, please. I'd be on a jet somewhere. [00:17:55] Speaker B: Up and stuck. [00:17:56] Speaker A: No. For sure, I'd have been the best to do it. But I think that I also had a lot of people looking up to me. I had team around me that I looked in their eyes, and I knew that the decisions I made would affect their lives. And they're looking up to me whether we're the same age or nothing. They're literally like, what's Miss Diddy going to? And that mattered to these people's lives and the decisions they made. The pressure of that is wild, even as a woman. But I will say this here, too. I always shout out the men that were really instrumental in my career, because I think that's important in the time of me, too. And so much sexual assault and things that are going on. And, yes, anybody that has wronged someone, they should be made whole, and they should be. But there's a lot of good that men have done as well. And I think it's a tough thing, because now you almost don't know how much to do. And men have been really good to me in my career. Like Kanye and his whole everybody over there, yay. John, monopoly, dancy, GLC. I mean, everybody around those guys treated me like family. And I have to say, there's a lot of good men that have also done well for women as well. [00:19:08] Speaker C: That's important, brothers. [00:19:09] Speaker A: So I understand the dynamic of a man and a woman. [00:19:12] Speaker B: You said something important, too. You said they learned the ability to just get out the way and let you create. Oftentimes, we talk about that as creators. Like, why would they just let us do us? We know what to do. But that allowed you to kind of, like, navigate through the space and turn certain things on in your brain and be like, oh. And validate you in certain systems and help spark that creativity. Not sure. I can't remember the timeline of it. I'm not sure if he was still at Long Beach State at the time. [00:19:52] Speaker A: But I remember it was, like, very close. [00:19:53] Speaker B: It was very close. [00:19:55] Speaker A: I might have been at Long beach. [00:19:56] Speaker B: Though, low key, because I always pinpoint albums in my life. And I remember it was in the middle of my college career, for sure. College dropout, right? So in the middle of college dropout, that happened. And everybody's like, yo, you know, that's. [00:20:13] Speaker A: I think I was still lucky, like, on the way of dropping out of Long beach, because that's also too. I mean, I'm around them. I'm around them heavy at this point. And so it was super special, though. So Kanye has a cousin named Ricky. You guys probably know Ricky. Ricky Anderson. I don't know. You may have came across him, but I know, right? Did we just go through, right? No. Ricky Anderson, great, great friend of mine, super dope. Him and my cousin Micah Walker, grew up together in an empire and hit boy and all them, so they all grew up together, and so, yay. That was his cousin. He's like, my big cousin is producer doing his know. It's like when a new artist that you cool with start doing, can you imagine when Draco's about to come out or something? They're not out yet. We've experienced it with Kendrick, yg. We've experienced it nib, God rest his soul. And so that was at the know. My cousin comes to the studio, like, whatever. Me and my homegirls go to the studio, whatever. And of course I got a hood. I'm from, like, for know. And it's funny because when people don't hear me talk, but then they hear me talk, they're like, oh, you're really from LA? Like, you sound like you're from LA. And ye was just like, man, did he just get in the booth? And he honestly, not for really, he created that whole kind of skit. I lived a little bit, but not really. He was like, say, bootleg queen. He's so genius. He's legitimately a genius. And he was like, all right, say this like Lexus. And I remember being like, I don't think I could cuss. I can't be cussed. That's exactly what it was. When I go back to faithful Central Sunday, you can't have me on the cussing on the album. Is that going to be the album? [00:22:09] Speaker C: Definitely going to be on the album. [00:22:12] Speaker A: Got a Grammy off of it, too. But everybody on the album got a Grammy. One album of the year. Right. And so that was, like, super special because we were just clowning, clowning in the studio, and it turned out to be something hella funny. And he loved that so much. It's his own number. It's number ten. It's the workout plan skit. Before the workout plan song, workout plan sounds, he loved this skit. He would introduce me as the bootleg queen. Like, two people was like, he introduced me to La Reed, that people calling me that. But it became urban. [00:22:49] Speaker B: Urban legend. No, because I just remember when we were playing it, it was like, hey, you know that song? [00:22:53] Speaker A: I'm like, no. [00:22:55] Speaker B: I'm like, for real? [00:22:56] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, snap. [00:22:58] Speaker B: And everything started transpiring after that. And that's why I said I couldn't remember timeline wise. [00:23:03] Speaker C: But it was definitely around you. Do you remember the studio session? [00:23:06] Speaker A: Oh, my God. What? [00:23:07] Speaker C: Okay, so in that studio session when you were doing this, because I've heard different things about studio sessions with ye. [00:23:15] Speaker A: I love studio sessions with ye. I stayed with him first. One, two, probably three albums. [00:23:19] Speaker C: Okay, that's even better. So can you describe ye's studio session? [00:23:24] Speaker A: It's the best. Well, not the best. First of all, let me say this, too. I was so mad at myself because second album, was it college dropout is graduation, I think. [00:23:32] Speaker C: No, lay registration. [00:23:33] Speaker A: Lay registration. I'm sorry. Lay registration. I was supposed to also have a skit, but I was clowning in the studio, like, record plant rolling on the scooter, just doing all the stupid, eating the cookies, the hot cookies. And I was supposed to be in there focused on doing. Yes, I would. [00:23:53] Speaker C: You would have had two skits. [00:23:54] Speaker A: I would have had two skits, but I was in there, so. Yeah, like, I even remember one of my favorite sessions probably was gold digger. Gold digger didn't have a third verse on it first. And ye was like. We was, like, sitting out. This was actually chalice, I believe, and he was just sitting out, and he was, like, going over. So I was like, man, I feel like I need a third verse. Because the concept of gold digger, he was on diamonds, so heavy. That's what he wanted. The diamonds are forever. Like, really, this statement. And he's like, the only way something's going to hit 106 in park is if I do a song like this. Gold digger. And it ended up being one of those. [00:24:32] Speaker C: So gold digger didn't exist. [00:24:33] Speaker A: Gold digger wasn't like. He was like, I got to create a song like this. [00:24:38] Speaker C: And at that time, in order to. [00:24:40] Speaker A: Get to do 106 and park. 106 and park is going to put up gold digger before they put up diamonds, even though diamonds was his heart, his focus, you know what I mean? And so at that time, yay. I had a homegirl named blair. Do y'all know Blair from inglewood, ray Charles granddaughter? So Blair was around Br. So I'm the one that was like, yo, you really need to do your music. She was around me at that time, so I would bring her around, and he needed to clear the sample. Remember, jamie Foxx was, like, doing ray at that time, the whole thing. So it was, like, super crazy. I remember being like, yo, if you get her some kind of way to get this cleared, I'll give her a verse. She playing around, too? No, for sure. And, brit, it was good music. So my homegirls, I made the street team, the good girls. And so she even did a record, like, remember when jeezy kept winning the dough? Boys go crazy. So she made a record like a planner. Like, when the good girls go crazy. That was, like, my favorite song. I love jeezy. And that time was, like, a time because gold digger was very strategic, intentional. And it's crazy because it did what he needed it to do, but I think it even did more beyond than what he thought, because it was really just that 106 in park kind of thing. [00:26:04] Speaker C: I remember when gold digger came out, because I don't know if that was the time. Damn. That wasn't on late registration. [00:26:11] Speaker A: That was the next one. Right? [00:26:12] Speaker C: That was on graduation. [00:26:13] Speaker B: Graduation, yeah. [00:26:14] Speaker C: Okay. So when gold Digger came out, I think that's the first time I ever heard him being interested in Ken. And I remember this whole thing based around the song. Right. Specifically that song. And I was like, this is years ago, so I don't remember the timeline correctly, but I definitely remember that was his first time. That was the rumor, is that he was interested in her. And I heard that he put that song out for that. [00:26:42] Speaker A: On that type of time at that time. [00:26:44] Speaker C: You never heard that? [00:26:45] Speaker A: No. Because also mean, now I know the real story. No, but I'm the homegirl. They treat me like the bro, but I'm still the girl. So it's like I don't know everything. I know his girlfriend well, was Brooke at that time. Brooke Kentendon. She's my sister still to this day. Her birthday is a day after my. August 13. I'm August twelveth. And it had to be around time. That was like hella fun. Like, yay. Was like, here's the black card. [00:27:15] Speaker C: Oh, my God. Okay, so the hard pivot coming out of that, you want to start your own business. [00:27:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:28] Speaker C: This is a dumb question, but I want you to elaborate on do you feel like it's. I have my own thoughts and Chuck's not going to ask. I'm not going to chime in on this. [00:27:38] Speaker B: It depends on what it is say, and I'll let you know if I won't chime in. [00:27:44] Speaker C: Do you think that it helps or hinders you being a woman in certain spaces? Because some people would say women have an advantage, and then some people would say men have the best. [00:27:57] Speaker A: Men have the best advantage. [00:27:58] Speaker C: Why? [00:27:59] Speaker A: First of all, it's the concept of you guys growing up in sports. So the boys club is a real thing and I'm not against it, but it's what you nine times out of ten or eight times out of ten, whether you play sports or not. But you understood, especially guys that play sports, you understand team. But your team was men, your team weren't women. You understand team. You understand having a coach. So actually, even if you'rebellious, you still can understand authority. You understand position. So if you're the quarterback and you're the safety, you're not playing the safety and you're not playing the quarterback, you understand position. These are things that were in young boys minds. From here, we're individualized as women. We didn't get that. So the idea of camaraderie, the idea of community and keeping it tight knit and close together is something we have to create if we can. Also, as a woman, we're all insecure. It ain't one of us that ain't. It's just a piece. It's a part of it. It's not. No way around that. We are. I appreciate you acknowledging that we are. There's plenty of women. I'm like, dang she. Bad, bad. I wish my hair looked like that. Or I wish we are going to all go through it as women. The sooner we understand that and not weaponize that, but allow ourselves to be vulnerable in space with each other, but protect it, then we're going to be better. The thing about a woman and a man is that men also have the ability to manipulate any woman. [00:29:30] Speaker C: Any woman. [00:29:31] Speaker A: Any woman. [00:29:32] Speaker C: Really? What, you don't think it's vice versa? You don't think women have the ability. [00:29:36] Speaker A: First it's hitch, any man has the ability to have any woman. It's just what it is. I don't care what women say. Like, I would never. Okay, let them have a couple more lines on you, a couple more love. Figure out what you really like. And any man has the ability to a manipulate any woman. And also having women, it's just the truth. [00:29:54] Speaker C: Damn. [00:29:55] Speaker A: So I'm not giving that to you so that you could feel stronger about your ways. [00:29:59] Speaker C: I'm not what you talking about. [00:30:01] Speaker A: Yeah, that's exactly what you mean to tell me. All right. [00:30:11] Speaker C: Speaking of cockroaches, right? [00:30:14] Speaker A: No, go ahead back to what you're saying. It definitely helps. It hurts, but it hurts. There's so many times I've had to be like, you don't got to be on that. I'm just trying to do business for me. I legit just want to do business. I'm one of the girls that I love to work. You know what I mean? I want to be worth my salt. I want to have a sense of duty. I care about work, the work, doing it. And sometimes it's difficult. With men it's good, but then it definitely hurts. [00:30:53] Speaker C: In my experience, it's been easier and more pleasurable to work with women. I feel like Kat Williams as many positions I could put a woman in, I will put a woman in. [00:31:02] Speaker A: We're going to protect you over any man. [00:31:03] Speaker C: I would definitely rather work with women over men. Do you have that experience? Like, as far as, I mean, both. [00:31:09] Speaker A: I have really dope men that I have that work with, you know, that are super loyal to me. And what I don't have to deal with is thinking that a man wants to be me. So that's what I don't have to deal with. I'll never think that Kern wants to be Miss Diddy. He doesn't. But I have to now figure out if you, Tatiana, actually just want to actually be me, be in my position, know the people I know have the regard that people have for me. It's tough. [00:31:43] Speaker B: How do you deal with that? Especially when you notice it, right? Because you want to help at the head. You do. [00:31:48] Speaker A: You have to. [00:31:50] Speaker B: There's no world in which you can actually show somebody like, okay, there might. [00:31:53] Speaker A: Be end up in lawsuits behind it. [00:31:54] Speaker C: Really? [00:31:55] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:31:56] Speaker A: Jealousy is a very cruel as a gray. [00:32:00] Speaker C: Wow. Okay, let me ask you this. When it goes left, which is worse, men or women? When things go completely left, women. Why is that? [00:32:10] Speaker A: Me, for sure. Because a man. There's ego that you're dealing with. So I could really be like, hey, bro, cut your ego. Real quick in it. And it's like he either going to never talk to me again or it's like, fortunately, with how I am, a man's not going to be like. But he might be like, all right, baby. A man's not going to take things further. A woman, you can't size up that jealousy in her. You can't. Because I've had women take it far. And for me, especially, like, how I grew up and just how I think, and me being a Leo and a lion, it's like I only have a couple ways to handle things, and it's really like one or two. And so I have to literally bring myself out of things, like disappear on something. Because for me, I feel like I'm a lion. I feel like, oh, you're putting me up against a wall. There's only one way I could come out of this. [00:33:14] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:15] Speaker A: And I've been in those situations, and it's hurtful and it's devastating and it's heartbreaking. And you're looking at someone like, I really fully put you on. I put you in a position that you never would have been in in your entire life, and this is how you repay. [00:33:31] Speaker B: I'm sorry to cut you off. [00:33:32] Speaker A: No. [00:33:32] Speaker B: Is there anybody that's not anybody specifically, but when you cut somebody off, just in general, is there any way for them to get back in your life or is that. [00:33:40] Speaker A: It's hard for me. I'm a Leo. I don't have it. So it's a no for you because it takes me. I have to understand what happened. I'm not a situational person. I have to understand the intent. The intent is far greater for me than the action. The action I could figure out, because we're all going to unintentionally wrong each other or hurt someone's feelings. It's relative, right? Like, oh, hey, I didn't know that would. My bad. I said that to the homie over there. I didn't know it was a thing for you. So that's something different. The intent. Once I know the intent and it's malicious, I can't. And it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Like, it'll hurt my soul. But I understand what's at stake. And once you continue to grow in life and you understand your own stake, can't be playing with that with nobody. You didn't built this up yourself. Sleepless nights figuring it out, trying to get business from this person being needs meetings, this, this and that. You're going to play with somebody behind that play with nobody behind that. This is our future. We're not kids. We're actually in our years of what we've built up. I'm not playing with that. With no man, no woman. I ain't playing with that. Even dating a man, he ain't coming up for that neither. [00:34:54] Speaker C: Right? Yeah, I'm not playing with that. Because I remember specifically when me and him was doing homegrown in his apartment. I used to try to bribe people, literally give people gas money. [00:35:06] Speaker A: Come on. In your apartment? [00:35:08] Speaker B: Yeah, man, in the apartment. [00:35:10] Speaker A: Think you about to play. Not a challenge. [00:35:12] Speaker C: I heard you say, and I wrote it down, there should be no budget on brand awareness. It's an infinite budget for that. [00:35:21] Speaker A: People hated that. Oh, my God. They real me in the comments. They hated it. [00:35:26] Speaker C: Now, look, when you said there should be no budget on brand awareness, are you speaking from a marketing standpoint? [00:35:32] Speaker A: Sure. [00:35:32] Speaker C: Okay. [00:35:33] Speaker A: Because again, like I said in that if people would have. I mean, they hated it. Visibility, it depends on what your RoI is. If your RoI is money, that's something different. If your RoI is visibility, spend the money. I spend a lot of money. You've been to my events. You've been to my events. [00:35:53] Speaker C: Yeah, I know. [00:35:55] Speaker A: It ain't no spare. My whole staff is paid. I got a 30 person staff on an event, and I'm not playing that. I'm not doing it. I'm saying it from a. This is what I do, you know, like. No, because listen, the amount of money I spend on marketing a year, eight, whether it's my company for the Miss City brand or it, I can't even put a number on it or I can't even say, this is how much I'm going to spend. Because what if something else comes up and that looks great, too? And I'm going to chance that every time I'm going to bet on myself, like Emory Jones says, every single time. Because why would somebody else bet on me if I'm not doing that for myself? So I'm saying that from a place of. I don't demand anything from anyone else. That I don't demand of myself. Jay Z. That's what I'm saying. From. I mean it. [00:36:54] Speaker C: I always have conversations. I talk to a lot of artists. [00:36:57] Speaker A: Yeah, you do. [00:36:57] Speaker C: A lot of artists. And the biggest thing that I always try to stress to them is because they think, like, when they sign to a label that their life is going to change. And I'm like, you don't even misconception on what a record label is for sure. And the record label, if you actually been to a record label and you go in there, there's no real studios, right? There's none of that. It's offices. [00:37:19] Speaker A: Sure. [00:37:20] Speaker C: And those offices are filled with people trying to market your music. And so what I always try to tell them is like, yeah, you could have the best product ever, but if no one knows about it, then how do you get. So to your point, we have a lot of artists creatives that follow us, of course, tune into us. What advice would you give them to overspend on marketing themselves or the product? [00:37:47] Speaker A: Or how would you say, from an artist standpoint? Here's where artists, and just in general, people go wrong. They forget that things are a business facts. So if you get up in the morning, say you do your workout or whatever, get to your computer, send an email to the VP of marketing over at your label and say, hey, happy holidays. I hope all is well. Just thinking about you guys. Maybe I could come pull up on you guys. And what happens with artists is just like Pusha Ra was saying in his interview, it's the arrogance, right? It's like, man, they supposed to be calling me, yeah, I'm the talent. It's exactly the concept of Jay Z saying, I'm not a businessman, I'm a businessman. It was what he was saying. No disrespect to anybody because I love Dame Dash, too. I have his attitude fully. But, like, when he's like, this is how I was able to maneuver a bit better in the rooms, you know what I'm saying? With people, because it's business. So if you're my president of whatever and you have so much on your plate to keep the lights on, keep the. And we're actually risking and putting money and investing in you as an artist, but you're the president. You need to keep this business going. Me as an artist, I could pull up to the office on a Thursday, bring some subway sandwiches to the whole office. It's not hurting, and say, what's up, y'all? I'm just going to say, what's up? Hope you all good. Dropping a new record. Hope you all could hear it. Like, I always tell people to do that. So even if it's not so much, drop so much money, monetarily wise, get in those rooms with those people. Stay at sweat equity. Stay at the top of their minds. You do the initiating, you know what I'm saying? Like, yo, let's talk to the multicultural department or the brand partnership department. What do you guys have on your desk? Oh, I would love to be involved with that. I would love to be involved with that. Because those people's in those offices, that don't mean they're culturally aware. They're not outside. I'm the person, I'm the promoter that allowed anrs to come in, parties and managers to come apart. They couldn't come. Did nobody know them? Didn't nobody know them? What you talking about? I knew them. I worked in me, so I knew him. My friends were managers. My friends were a rs. I'm walking them in. You know what? Those people, they're just not outside. No disrespect. Some of them are. You got people like Dallas Martin. I love the way Dallas Martin has done his career and his Anr and things like that, because he did take the time to be outside. He will be like, diddy, I'm finna come get a table. I talked. I want to sit next to Nipsey. Put nip table next to mine. You know what I'm saying? It's being smart, being aware, and staying top of mind, and then look at all what ends up happening. [00:40:35] Speaker C: A toast of black Hollywood. I got a chance to go, well, I've been to a couple of them. [00:40:45] Speaker A: Yes. [00:40:48] Speaker C: Like you said, you spared no expense. No, the last one, I had to get out of there, though, because it was too high. I ain't going to lie to you. She had it on top of some building. We were on the roof. There was a pool on the roof, right? So there's a pool on the roof. [00:41:01] Speaker A: The highest penthouse in downtown, period. [00:41:03] Speaker C: Okay, there's a pool on the roof. I'm looking down at helipads. [00:41:08] Speaker B: Wait, say that one more time. [00:41:10] Speaker C: I'm looking off the roof, and you're. [00:41:12] Speaker B: Looking down at helipad. [00:41:14] Speaker C: At helipad. Now, I'm from here, bro. I'm from LA. I don't do heights. I don't fuck with it. I don't like it. I get vertigo. So then you go up these stairs to the deck, and they doing massages. They're doing massages on this deck, and you can see the whole city with the helipads and everything. And I'm like, and then I go downstairs and I go and shout to Doritos. I like Doritos. They giving me Doritos. I'm like, you know, this is my cousin. [00:41:47] Speaker B: I can see you walking out. [00:41:54] Speaker C: I'm in a Dorito lounge. They're like, yeah. Would you like some Doritos? [00:41:57] Speaker A: I would like some Doritos. [00:42:03] Speaker C: I just was like, yo, and the food was fired, too. Yeah, I'm pescatarian now, but at that. [00:42:09] Speaker A: Time, she had it. [00:42:12] Speaker C: But she had these kebabs, skewers. It was decadent. Yeah, it was decadent. Right? So I'm like, I'm there, and I was just like, how much will receipt? Because I don't do a lot of parties. [00:42:32] Speaker A: I'm throwing a lot of parties rented, too. You don't want me to get no line items up in this. [00:42:38] Speaker C: I play with nobody playing on my name, like, wanted. First of all, I wanted to share my experience. [00:42:44] Speaker A: I'm so happy about it. [00:42:45] Speaker C: But then I know everybody kind of familiar with a toast of black Hollywood, but what's your goal for Black Hollywood? What's the goal for it? [00:42:55] Speaker A: That's so interesting. You asked that, right? Because I started toast to bike Hollywood probably damn near ten years ago when no one was doing that type of event, right? So, like, the concept of recognizing and respecting and awarding your peers peer to peer in front of everyone, that was your award ceremony. So outside of those four walls of your bet awards, your Grammys, all of that, that wasn't happening. That wasn't the concepts of events. Now everybody does it. And Tulsa back Hollywood was the blueprint of how that felt for me. I wanted to. That's the brand group, my company's marquee event for the year, because a lot of times I'm hired in from clients to do their events, which is something different than it being my actual formal company event, which is why I spend so much time and money and resources to make it really special and separate from anything else. The goal of it for me, it used to be called toast to young Hollywood. And during 2020 is when I changed it to toast to Black Hollywood, when everything happened in the world and we watched George Floyd be murdered on television. And it was a time for us to feel powerful again and for us to feel like being black is as beautiful as it is. Right. And us being the leaders of everything cultural, everything pop culture, I don't care what it is. We are the leaders of it. And so I wanted to shine a light on that and really be bold in that communication, which is something not everyone could do, especially if you're not an entrepreneur, you're kind of scared of a lot of things. And that's why I'm really proud of the partnerships and the sponsors that come on board like Doritos, because they have a program called Solid Black, and they honored me for the sophomore year of this program in which they were putting a lot of dollars that was promised in the black and brown communities and they actually really did it. [00:44:53] Speaker C: A lot of those companies have promised. [00:44:55] Speaker A: That money, promised it, never realized, never. Pepsico Doritos has done it continually. And so they partnered on the event without any type of, oh, we're not sure if you want to say black. [00:45:09] Speaker B: Which is a thing. [00:45:10] Speaker A: What do you mean? Yeah, 100% it's a thing, talk about it. But for me, it's like, not, I'm a black woman, my mother's black, my father's black. I'm not anti anyone else. I have amazing friends from everywhere in the world, every culture, every ethnicity. We from LA, we grew up with every type of ethnicity. But I am a black woman, and so my children will be black if I ever have those. My nieces and nephews, they're black mixed with other things, but know. And so I want to be a representation of my people to the best of my know. And so that authenticity, I think, speaks in a tulsa bag. Hollywood, it's uss of the world because DJ ain't going to everything, you know what I'm saying? But it's like, I feel like my event, I'm really proud because it's that you're going to see the homies in there, you know what I'm saying? And it's the homies that has made waves. I mean, J Rock was in there, you know what I'm saying? Like, J Rock ain't going to nothing. Brandon, TDE, TDE Christmas party. That's it. That's it. He going to watch. Yeah, but I'm proud of that because that speaks to my homeboys. Like, really? Again, speaking to men, right? And their support. I mean, g Herbal was in, g Herbert don't go nowhere. But that's my, like, that's my dear friend, you know what I'm saying? So he like, nah, dude, we pull it. And, and of course, the women that are involved, like, I honored Eva Marcel, which even from the city, even went to Washington. Like, what are we talking about? You know what? You know, I want to be able to highlight us. So this year I have some things in the works in my mind that I want to expand it. I can't speak to it just yet because I'm in the middle of working out some deals for it. But I'm going to tell you guys as soon as it happens because I think it'll be really special, too. [00:46:57] Speaker B: I think that's amazing that you do something for the black community in Los Angeles because you see this in Atlanta. I'm sure. The black numbers are obviously up there. [00:47:14] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:47:15] Speaker B: Us in Los Angeles. [00:47:16] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:47:17] Speaker B: It's not that way. Right. So speak on why that's such an important thing for you and how you navigate through that space out, man. [00:47:23] Speaker A: Like, I'm just grateful to God that I've been able to do it in the way I've been able to do it, right. Because not everybody is able to do that and even say, with that event toasted by Hollywood, I mean, I've had it at legendary, at the Beverly Hills Hotel. They're not just letting, let's be clear, you know what I'm saying? And so there's a way in which they're not. We want to do. There's going to be how many black and brown individuals? And so I'm so proud of even my team, and it speaks to my team, also my leadership, but my team. And even the way we were talking about that, even the way things are presented, right? I'm so anal about so many things. I have such OCD about so many things because I don't have the luxury to not present in a certain way. I just don't. I'm a young black girl doing business. It can't be like, oh, what's up, y'all? What's up? Yeah, it's miss walking in the Beverly Hills hotel, playing sexy red, pulling up. No disrespect, but I'm just saying it's not something I could do. So I'm very aware and cognizant of that. And I try to lead my team in that way, too, so they could understand, like, yo, we got one shot to pull up and look away. My team, they on point with that. [00:48:45] Speaker B: How do you respond to people that would say, oh, well, that's toning down your black. You know what I'm saying? Or like, if you have critics that say that, right, tone it up and. [00:48:55] Speaker A: See where that go. It's a time and place for everything, right? If I'm in my uncle backyard and he grilling, smoking his cigar, and I got him his du, say xo, we're still black, eloquent people, but we looking at the game now. I'm a little more relaxed. When you go to work, you go to work. That's the thing that you guys, I take my job serious as an entrepreneur. I'm still going to work. I treat it just like I treated it when I was working at the insurance company. I need to show up on time. I need to show up to work. I need to present well. I couldn't walk up in an insurance company with a sweatsuit on and whatever. Not saying that again. I've been to meetings with sweatsuit, but I'm saying you have to present that way. It's just what it is, everybody. You can bust the system to a certain extent, right? Do you understand? I'm with all of that. I'm here. I'm with all that. But it's to a certain extent. What are you trying to accomplish? Are you just being rebellious just for the sake of being rebellious, or. You really have a point here. [00:49:54] Speaker C: I have that problem. [00:49:54] Speaker A: No, I know. I was going to say, because you don't like buttons. [00:49:57] Speaker C: I don't. [00:49:57] Speaker A: He's crazy. [00:49:58] Speaker C: I won't even hug. [00:49:59] Speaker A: Want to wear buttons? He's wild. That's why I took my jacket off, saying, see, I got buttons on my jacket. [00:50:06] Speaker B: Freaking out in the middle. [00:50:08] Speaker C: In real life, never wear buttons in a. [00:50:11] Speaker B: But to your point, understanding the intent behind it, you know what I'm saying? [00:50:13] Speaker C: I have a problem. No, I have a disorder. [00:50:20] Speaker A: Have you been diagnosed with that. [00:50:26] Speaker C: I don't like, but freaks out? Two more things that I have specifically. The first one is when it comes to. I heard you say something about, you don't have aspirations or a ceiling because it puts a cap on where you. Yeah, I don't remember exactly what you said verbatim, but I remember that it stood out to me because I held on to that, because I'm like, damn, this whole time. Oh, I remember. You said, you're working towards a goal, and then when you get that goal, you're like, okay, now what? That's exactly what I've been going through the last two years. Yeah, I had a goal, me and him. Radio was never a stepping stone for us. It was always the end, the goal. Right. A lot of people want to go to do. A lot of people want to go do tv from radio or be an actor or whatever. I want to be on the radio. Okay, fine. I want to work with big boy. Okay, fine. I want my own show. Okay, fine. I want to get on tv. Okay, fine. I want to do Netflix. Okay, fine. [00:51:21] Speaker A: Check. [00:51:21] Speaker C: And now I want to do movies. Okay, fine. And I'm still not fulfilled and I'm not rich. What the fuck is going. So when you said that, and then I started to reflect all the way up until now, that's exactly what I'm. [00:51:37] Speaker B: Going through, because. [00:51:40] Speaker C: Me and him haven't even talked about this. But I had three goals. The first one was, I want to be in the radio hall of Fame. [00:51:46] Speaker A: Wow. [00:51:47] Speaker C: The second one was I want a star on the walk of fame. The third one was I want a street named after me in my city. Oh, I love that I got rid of all that shit. And because what I did was I realized most of my goals are rooted in ego. The reason why we want statues and street names, because you want you to outlive your physical form. [00:52:08] Speaker A: Sure. [00:52:09] Speaker C: And I started to diagnose what am I going through? Why am I going through like this depression or whatever the fuck I'm dealing with? [00:52:14] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:52:14] Speaker C: And I was like, oh, it's because all of my goals were rooted in ego. [00:52:19] Speaker A: Sure. [00:52:19] Speaker C: And so once I got rid of all that, I hollowed myself out. Pause. And I didn't have anything left. And I was just like, now. I just felt now empty as fuck and I felt lost. [00:52:30] Speaker A: You didn't know what you were working towards. [00:52:31] Speaker C: Correct. So I want you to speak on that 100%. [00:52:35] Speaker A: I mean, first of all, super powerful. I don't want to graze past the fact that you had that type of awareness moment. Aha. Moment in your life because it's extremely powerful and that means that you're doing some inner work that a lot of people don't dive into. So I want to say that first where that comes from. For me, I have to be honest. So I grew up in faithful central baptist church. Well, faithful central Bible church. It was baptist church when I was growing up. Shout out to my bishop Omer, Kennethy Omer. And then I went to as an adult, one church before it was one international. So when Terray had his church in north Hollywood. And so I mean, shout out to Ray during that time in particular, I'm speaking about this time in particular, shout. [00:53:28] Speaker C: Out to Ray, I got your book. [00:53:29] Speaker A: Shout out to terray Roberts, Pt. Love him. That time was super special. In particular with the people that went to church in North Hollywood, not Melworth. Nothing against nobody on Melworth before it turned into all of that. All of what? God bless. And I don't want no problems. But for that time, he really pushed us to really understand how important it is to live out God's dream for our lives. So when I say I don't have a goal, it's not that I don't say I would like to do that, that's something different. But emptying out that ego is saying, God, I want what you have for my life 100%. And so I have to live by the Holy Spirit in myself and I have to live by my unction in my gut that says, all right, now that's the way to go diddy now, which is the same idea of the pivot of can't be in a club for my whole life. Gonna have to pivot here for the same idea of oh, let me start the brand group. I have no clue what the f I'm doing. I don't know. I don't know. I still don't know. [00:54:36] Speaker C: That's honest. [00:54:37] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:54:37] Speaker C: I don't think nobody knows. [00:54:38] Speaker A: Shout out to the people that say that because for the people that and I know what I'm doing, if that makes sense, you know what I'm saying? I have no clue because what I'm going to do is follow what God tells me to do. I miss the mark sometime, but I'm going to stay intentional about that. And I know that there's protection there, that there's cover in there and I know that there's intentionality there for me to actually live out my purpose in my life beyond this, beyond the jewels, the vibes, everything like beyond the life we live because we live a life that is very privileged. Not a lot of people. First of all, we grew up in LA, right? I don't care where we from the hood, but we still grew up looking at palm trees. That's a real thing for know. We know where to locate the Hollywood sign at any given moment. We grew up in the only city that has Hollywood. There's no Hollywood anywhere else in the world. So for me, those taking it back to that, taking off those goals because it's like, God, where you have me, that's where I got to be. Because the bigger reason for my life and my career and the only reason why he let me really get off how I get it off is because I'm intentional about that. [00:55:45] Speaker C: It's a full surrender for me. [00:55:47] Speaker A: It's a full. You can't partially, that's so deep. But I surrender every day. It's a continual because the Bible says we'll battle Amalek every day. Amalek is our flesh every day. It doesn't matter what it know and you know, we're going to battle it every day. So it's a continual surrender like, all right, God, wherever you want me going, that's where I'm. [00:56:13] Speaker B: But what does that look like in between surrendering and feeling like I'm not doing enough? [00:56:19] Speaker A: So this is what happens with these. Before this, nobody felt like that. [00:56:24] Speaker C: That's true. [00:56:25] Speaker A: No one felt. When we was in college and you was working towards being on the radio, everything you never felt like you weren't doing enough. Whatever it was, you felt like you were just kind of in sync with what was going on. Boom. This is what makes us feel that way. Facts, nothing else. Because we're experiencing too many people at one time. We're not supposed to experience that many people. We're humans. We're supposed to experience each other. We from the same city. We supposed to see each other. Boom, boom, boom. I'm not supposed to experience my friends in France. What the. In Ireland today in one day? No, that's not a human thing. That's this thing. And so that's what happens, people. I was talking to this young girl, she's in college, ran into an event. She was, like, super inspired by me, and she was talking about that. I'm like, damn, you all in college, talking about you all don't feel these kids are depressed because of this. They're looking at this. It's like. I'm like, baby girl, live your life, punkin facts. It's going to come. I promise you, it's going to come. You don't have to have your next ten years figured out. That's not how this life works. [00:57:32] Speaker C: It's a journey that's 100% accurate. [00:57:36] Speaker B: You mentioned something about missing the mark sometimes just for. Not the clarity, just for people to kind of understand. When was that last time for you or something that you want to speak on? So people see. They see Miss Diddy. They see all the highlights and the amazing things that you're doing, but when's the last time you personally felt like I missed a mark on that? And how did you bounce back from that? Or what did you learn from that? [00:57:57] Speaker A: That's crazy because I really don't be missing a mark, but. [00:58:05] Speaker C: It'S going to be that. It's going to be that. [00:58:08] Speaker A: You know what? With the tough year that I had last year, there was a lot of times I didn't feel motivated, and I was concerned, and it's the same thing that you're saying, like, going through, maybe it's depression, all these things, and I was concerned about that. Even though that's, like, missing a mark for me was like, I have so much that's riding on me, and for me to perform and do what I need to do, I can't be missing that. Motivation is temporary. So you got to find your ways to be motivated, right? Without vices, not drinking, smoke, no disrespect to nobody, but you got to find your way to get that motivation. So whether that's. I'll go take my walks in the morning. I'll go take a hike, whatever. I got to get into that. So I feel like I was missing a mark by not finding my motivation. Maybe quick enough to get back in the race the way I needed to be in the race. [00:59:11] Speaker B: Okay. [00:59:11] Speaker C: I feel that the last thing I wanted to ask you about is companionship. [00:59:16] Speaker A: Because heavy on me about this, y'all. [00:59:19] Speaker C: This is something that I struggle with. Chuck has had to figure it out for a while. [00:59:23] Speaker A: Chuck got to figure it out. He got beautiful, amazing wife. [00:59:26] Speaker C: I like his kids more than his wife. [00:59:28] Speaker A: Great kids, great family man. [00:59:36] Speaker C: He hates that his son love me. [00:59:38] Speaker A: His son fuck with me. [00:59:40] Speaker B: He taught my son's first cuss word. [00:59:43] Speaker A: Well, that also makes sense. [00:59:49] Speaker B: I brought him to the station of it. I forgot to tell you this. I brought him to the station where head at, right? I said, oh, no, he doesn't work. He don't work here anymore. [00:59:57] Speaker A: What's going. Like, he was offended he wasn't told. [01:00:01] Speaker B: In his mind, he, like, evaluated. He's like, wait a minute, head was in this room. Why is he not here? And I'm just like, I bet I. [01:00:08] Speaker C: Was going to face. That's crazy. So I was going to ask you is how hard is it for you to find companionship? Because I've never seen you with a person on your arm. [01:00:20] Speaker A: I know, right? [01:00:21] Speaker C: I've never seen you on the arm of a person. I'm not even saying this because we here. I don't know anyone that you've ever talked to. [01:00:31] Speaker A: Right. [01:00:33] Speaker C: I mean, vice versa, though. Vice versa. I don't think anybody. Well, he knows, but I'm not a public person when it comes to that at all. The last girl that I seriously talked to, we didn't even follow each other. [01:00:46] Speaker A: That was probably because that's what you said to do. [01:00:48] Speaker C: No, she just didn't like, see, she couldn't take it. And I don't want to follow her. [01:00:53] Speaker A: He couldn't take it. [01:00:54] Speaker B: Is Wild West coast. [01:01:03] Speaker C: Okay, first of all, one, what is it like for you in an intimate setting, dealing with a male human because you're an alpha? Yes, but I know. Mean, I see all these fucking podcasts, all these women spewing bad advice, but hilarious. It's terrible advice. [01:01:22] Speaker A: Hilarious. [01:01:22] Speaker C: Worse than Steve Harvey book advice. That advice is terrible, by the way. That's antiquated, old school shit. But whatever. I love Steve Harvey, but head Williams over here, when it comes to you specifically, is that a thing? [01:01:47] Speaker A: It's tough. Boy. [01:01:49] Speaker B: Somebody right now waiting for the soft. [01:01:51] Speaker C: Launch they like, no, it's happening right now. Okay. Speaking from an entrepreneur, a goal oriented, business driven woman, and it's somebody who's an alpha woman. [01:02:05] Speaker A: I'm an alpha in a business space. I'm not alpha in a relationship. I don't want to be alpha there. I'm the leader in so many spaces of my life, I don't want to be the leader. [01:02:15] Speaker B: How is that, though? [01:02:16] Speaker A: Because men think I want to. That's the problem. And until they, in some way, men that really know me, any men I've ever been in any form of intimate seat, not even just sex, just in general. They see that, and it's always like, oh, that's really you? First of all, I'm the youngest of my siblings. I grew up with three older brothers. Now, a lot of times in my life, I have had to become the older sister in situations which, again, puts me back in the situations in my life that I don't want to be in. Like the force fed, you must be the leader in this situation. So for me, relationship wise, I don't want to be the leader. I'm tired. I'm tired. And so it is tough, because one thing I will say about men in this time, in this era in general, because I like men that are 45, 50, I like a 30 some year old. I'm not like, you got to be this age. [01:03:13] Speaker B: Got you. [01:03:14] Speaker A: But one thing that men just aren't is consistent. And because I grew up in an era where that's important, I'm not your girlfriend. Unless you call me every day, you ain't calling me a week later and thinking that you still got the same spot in my life. It's like, oh, what's up, bro? It's big bro. What you think this is? [01:03:33] Speaker C: You big bro? [01:03:34] Speaker A: You didn't call me. In a way, you're confused. [01:03:37] Speaker C: You don't think that's ego? [01:03:38] Speaker A: 100%. Okay, but why would it be? [01:03:41] Speaker C: That's fair, though. [01:03:42] Speaker A: If you want to be, it's not even an ego. That's not, well, should be in that space. Like, bro, why are you calling me at that weekend? Men are arrogant. [01:03:54] Speaker C: You have to verbally talk to a man every day. [01:03:57] Speaker A: You can't be invested in me without needing to make sure I'm okay every day. If you don't need to make sure I'm okay every day, I'm not your girl. [01:04:07] Speaker B: Right? [01:04:08] Speaker A: I'm not the girl. Do you know how much I carry in my life? The man that has to have, he has to be able to carry that and what he got in his life. I'm a very gender specific person. I'm not with all that. I don't want equality. I'm not into it. No. [01:04:26] Speaker C: Thank you so much. Thank you so much. [01:04:29] Speaker A: God bless you. Good night. I don't want equality. I'll take my dollar less. The roles are enforced. I don't want equality. The roles got to be enforced. [01:04:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:44] Speaker A: It's a reason they exist. [01:04:46] Speaker C: Right. [01:04:46] Speaker A: You know what I mean? I really believe in stuff like that. So it's like, don't call me every day. [01:04:54] Speaker C: You know how many arguments I have been in over this specific topic? And it's like, even when I was on the radio and I would go on with big boy, they would heal me. [01:05:02] Speaker A: A lot of women are raised by single mothers, okay? And a lot of men are. I was going to say that because that black mama on that black son is bad. [01:05:12] Speaker C: Okay? So look. [01:05:17] Speaker A: Mess that black son up and get them very confused, because that black mama, that's that single mama, nine times out of ten, treat that son like that's a man. And it confuses. A lot of confuses. And also they praise their sons. Black women raise their daughters and love their sons. [01:05:39] Speaker C: Damn. That's a fucking. [01:05:41] Speaker A: It's a real thing. I was raised with three brothers. I'm the only one that has a tumultuous relationship with my mom. Word, 100%. It's the praising of the black son. And my mom was married my life. Like, she married for a time. That's all. Not so. But you know what I'm saying? I'm just saying, like, that black mama on that black son is something that really. That's what you really need to tap into in the conversation. And I got homeboys. I love their mamas, too. But that black single mother, it's a lot that that black single mother had to deal with. I know that generation, our generation right above us. I'm talking about that black single mother. They never heal from that. [01:06:24] Speaker C: I feel that. [01:06:25] Speaker A: And they won't do the healing. They're not going to do the work. They too far into their life. They can't dig into that. They don't want to touch that. It's too heavy. So that black son, that's why you hear so many young black boy. I got to get my mama out the hood. And yes, rightfully so. You're supposed to be the man in your world and stuff like that. But it's like, responsibility wise ain't really your wants. [01:06:48] Speaker C: I bought my mom's house before I got mine. [01:06:51] Speaker A: Congrats. You got a space with God with that. But it's like, that's not my responsibility. Okay? [01:07:03] Speaker C: Is that what you're saying? [01:07:04] Speaker A: Right. But that black mama ain't never going. That black mama go make sure you feel it's your responsibility. I'm saying generally. I ain't talking about your mama because she ain't going to call me with the. No problem with her. [01:07:13] Speaker C: I don't think my mom has ever felt like that. But I do understand what I'm saying generally. [01:07:19] Speaker A: But why would you do that if you didn't feel obligated? [01:07:24] Speaker C: Well, I didn't like how we grew up. [01:07:27] Speaker A: And she probably did the best that she knew how. 100%. And that's to be honored. That's to be honored. [01:07:34] Speaker C: And you know something else? I remember us getting put out. I remember sleeping in the car, like, I ain't finished. [01:07:39] Speaker A: You ain't never going to go through that no more. But that's what I mean. That black single mother been through a lot. She ain't doing that therapy. She ain't doing that work. Shane. Hitting that therapist, you know? I ain't going to no therapist. [01:07:51] Speaker C: You know what? This last thing and we could wrap up. Okay. I just had this conversation. My mom, by the way, I love you. [01:07:58] Speaker B: Don't come for me. [01:08:00] Speaker A: For real. [01:08:01] Speaker C: I love you. So this came up and I want to get your take on it. When it came to intentions over holiday break, I go to my mom's house. We sitting there and we chopping it up or whatever, and she's decorating the house for my sister's birthday. And she's like, yeah. And I know she doesn't hit him. He won't tell me, but she doesn't hit them all up to try to plan his surprise dinner for my birthday. Right? Continue. You didn't know it was a surprise. It was supposed to be a surprise. I shut all that shit down. [01:08:31] Speaker B: Okay, got you. [01:08:32] Speaker C: I shut all that shit. My mom can't afford to take all of us out to eat. You know what I'm saying? [01:08:38] Speaker A: Crazy. [01:08:38] Speaker C: So it's all good. I'm not tripping. Send me a text. I'm going to get on the computer and try to find some money. Yes, whatever. So we over there for holiday break. No, I know you was in on it. I know. Whatever. I know my mom, bro. [01:08:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:08:57] Speaker C: So anyway, long story short, we sitting there and over Christmas break, and she's decorating the house and she's planning this birthday party. And I just like mom. She's like, well, we want to celebrate your birthday. I said, it's my birthday. What if I don't want to? [01:09:11] Speaker A: What if I don't want to do shit? [01:09:13] Speaker C: And she was like, I mean, when I tell you she didn't understand what I was. I didn't send my sister. I was like, how do you know she want the house decorated for her birthday? She's like, well, I celebrate you guys every year. I said, for who? And she was like, what do you mean? I said, mom, for you. I said, mom. [01:09:34] Speaker A: That's my mom. [01:09:34] Speaker C: Have you ever asked her if she. [01:09:36] Speaker A: Would if she wants for her birthday? [01:09:38] Speaker C: And my sister turns and looks at my mom and says, I never want you to decorate for my birthday. [01:09:42] Speaker A: I actually am fine without my mom. [01:09:46] Speaker C: I mean, when I tell you her mind was blown, sure. I said, mom, who are you doing. [01:09:51] Speaker A: This for after all these years, too? [01:09:53] Speaker C: 30 years? [01:09:54] Speaker A: Yes. [01:09:54] Speaker C: Who are you doing this for? She's like, well, for you all. I said, if I don't want it and she doesn't want it, who are you doing? [01:10:00] Speaker B: There's only one person that'll send me a quiz, right? [01:10:02] Speaker C: She was like, I mean, when I tell you my mom was. [01:10:05] Speaker A: She couldn't believe it. [01:10:06] Speaker C: She was. And all I could think about as I'm having this conversation, I had to call Salas. We had him on. It was a whole thing. And when I realized in that moment, I've had these conversations over the years with so many different women about being self absorbed. And I was like. I said, it's crazy that my mother. This is my mom. First of all, when I realized my mom was a woman, it fucked me up. [01:10:30] Speaker A: That's fair, because we don't look at parents as gender. [01:10:34] Speaker C: But when I realized my mom was a girl, that's so fair with feelings, and I was like, it blew my mind. So I'm like, mom. I'm telling her. I'm like, damn. It's crazy that this is my mother, and I'm having to teach her something that none of these men have ever taught. [01:10:54] Speaker A: They turn into children. [01:10:55] Speaker C: And it was just like, oh, my God. When I tell you, it was a mind fuck. For me, it is because I'm literally teaching my mother a lesson that I taught women over the years, and no man has ever taught her this thing before, because either they either happy to be there or don't want to piss her off or don't want to have the argument or whatever the case may. [01:11:13] Speaker B: Be, may not even be aware of. [01:11:14] Speaker C: Themselves or may not even be aware themselves. [01:11:17] Speaker A: We're the generation of that awareness where the generation of asking questions be like, that's not that generation. That generation is be seen, and I heard, and that's how they live their life. And so those conversations, even to that, like, where you would have them say, here, right here, right horizontal or whatever, you're not having it there because that generation wasn't raised like that. So we're the ones that are like, it's going to be more friction because we're kind of like, hey, now, let's take a deep dive into that. [01:11:51] Speaker B: Coming from. [01:11:51] Speaker A: Where is that coming from? And that's what I mean. I really wish black mothers in that generation definitely get therapy, go to just start to dig into it. But I know it's painful, and it's a lot. [01:12:05] Speaker B: I thank you for finally coming on. So happy that you finally made time for us. [01:12:10] Speaker A: I'm so happy. [01:12:12] Speaker B: Most important thing for me, what can we look forward to moving forward? I know we kind of scratch the surface a little bit, but what are some things the year can't. And we like to ask this question, the year can't end without miss Diddy doing what? And it could be career wise, it can be personal, it can be things that you're manifesting. Just anything. [01:12:34] Speaker A: I think, personally, for me, being really confident in the person and the woman that I'm growing into and allowing myself the space to be that person without constraints of the world and people and what's expected and stuff like that. And I've been like a person in my family that's like the person everybody calls on for everything. It's like I've learned to be like, oh, don't call me. But not because I don't want to, but because I had to learn to save space for myself. I know you are. We talked about this. I was running on e for so long, and I had to learn that that was absolutely the most unhealthy way to live my life. And so that, I think, is definitely personal this year with that. And then, yeah, I'm so happy to be here with you guys. I do want to let it be known that I paid DJ head for this interview. And so it's undisclosed figures like Drake says it's undisclosed figures. I've bribed him, I have threatened him, and I ultimately ended up having to pay him. So I'm not sure if that's extortion. [01:13:54] Speaker C: What about you knowing Chuck longer than you know me? [01:13:56] Speaker A: And that's what he always says. He be like, you know Chuck longer than you so why would you pay. [01:14:01] Speaker C: Me if you know that this is the founder? [01:14:04] Speaker A: No, it's just the way you've been moving about your stuff in life. [01:14:10] Speaker C: This is the founder. Everything is in his name. [01:14:16] Speaker A: You said, leave me alone. No, I'm just kidding. I'm so happy to be here with my family, my brothers, my loved ones. I'm so grateful to have even been on this journey with you all beside you all in life, like us coming up in the city. And it's a blessing, man, because we've all worked so freaking hard. And it's tough because being in this market, it doesn't remind you how hard you work until you go somewhere else. Like I told when you went to Atlanta, that's where you're like, oh, I really didn't dance. Some stuff they know. So I just want to give y'all, y'all flowers beyond, because you guys have been putting on for the culture for so freaking long with your hearts and your souls, and it doesn't go unrecognized. [01:14:59] Speaker C: Thank you. [01:14:59] Speaker B: Thank you so much. I'm personally learning how to accept the flowers. One thing that I'm really focused on this year as far as being intentional with that. So thank you so much. I don't want to deflect from that. I appreciate that and much more success. And we're going to keep on toasting you as well, man. Miss Diddy. Homegrown radio, Chuck Dizzle, DJ head. We'll catch you all next time. [01:15:20] Speaker A: Homegrown radio gang.